Reviewed by W. Smith, MD (Web MD Magazine)
Johnny was a seventh grader who lived in a small town outside of Chicago, he was a very normal kid,and he was very popular in his school. His father was a doctor and his mother was a politician. His teachers nominated him to be interviewed by a research specialist with a PhD. After the researcher spoke with him she realized he was the classic portrait of a young bully. Mark was already smoking and drinking, he was very popular and very good at getting other kids to bully certain targets. He admitted that he ran the whole seventh grade. For years we all thought that bully has low-self esteem, poor social skills, and not very popular with their peers, but now experts now think different.
Some kids social skills and behaviors may seem normal, but good social skills don’t always translate into good relationship skills. These children can take another person’s perspective and use empathy to find vulnerable targets, then establish dominance and take control. This is not positive, these children are angry due to lack of parental attention. These children are looking for negative or positive attention no matter the cost. Researchers show that once these children reach adult hood they may end up in jail or abuse drugs and alcohol. They also may have trouble with keeping a job or maintaining good relationships.
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I have been working with a group of high school students for the last couple of weeks, and I now better undestand some of them after reading this article. One thing is for sure, "...good social skills don't always translate into good relationship skills."
ReplyDeleteLike you said, some children are looking for attention in any way they can. The article mentions that the boy’s parents are very successful, one being a doctor and one being a politician. With careers such as these, the parents are likely very busy. The boy’s actions of being a bully may not be linked only to seeking attention from his peers but also the appreciation of his parents. Popular students often deal with the pressure of being on top in a negative way, taking their power to the extreme and hurting those that look up to them the most. It is important that these type issues be noticed early on so that students don’t hurt others, themselves or resort to outlets such as drugs and alcohol.
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